The hardest lesson to teach children and others for the brown in me, has been leadership. The problem for myself is we have a different matrix for what is leadership. Leadership is not recognition. If your goal is recognition and affirmation for yourself, then you will never be a leader.
Getting into battles which are superficial will detour you from your objective. In a sport environment if your goal is to win, then fighting with the coach, getting angry at players who are not doing what they cannot do, getting frustrated because the game is not being played as you wish are all going to distract yourself and your team from winning. A leader is not necessarily the best player, nor is it the captain. The leader is the one who does what it takes to win. The leader understands the weaknesses and strengths of their team, and then adjusts to get the most out of them. A leader complains less, and works more. Bill Russell once explained, if he wanted to disrupt an offense he would pick Wilt Chamberlain because he was the best defensive player, and on the other end he would pick Michael Jordan to disrupt an offense because Jordan was great at offense. However if he wanted to win the game, he would pick Bill Russell. What I want my children to understand is, a leader is only as good as his followers. If your team sucks, then you need to make them better or else you are not leading the game.
In life, getting involved in dramas and conflicts is distracting time and effort from your objective. At some point success will only come, when you understand what your objective is, and appreciate you will need to work with those you may not like to achieve it. The ability to work with those you don’t like and those who are not at your level is more important then having harmony. Unconditional devotion is a cult and never a recipe for success.
The brown in me has learned in fatherhood, the hardest thing in life is passing on insights to family. Strangers listen to you more than your blood. As much as I love passion in individuals, I abhor a waste of those skills due to the lack of focus. The best athletes channel their anger to play better. Most let their anger distract them from their goal. They get caught up in the anger, and spend time and effort on the anger, instead of the cause. Long time ago I met a person in Cairo late at night, who explained to me what I hadn’t figured out on my own. Over coffee and hookah he was able to help me take my passion and sense of social justice and harness it to where things get accomplished. When your goals are defined, and when you are able to let go of the need for recognition, then success follows. Eventually success forces recognition on you.
Your leadership and importance should be most felt at your absence.
Source: ItsTheBrownInMe