I am all for manners. Being polite and thanking people. When I first moved to Texas I loved how everyone used the word sir, and yes sir and yes ma’am all the time. Teaching your children respect for their elders should be a given. As a small boy, growing up in Africa in a small town, I knew every adult had the right to discipline and punish, so respect was easily learned. In America in my lifetime respect and manners are being eroded by the entitled self serving culture. The hypocrisy of this is the new progressive parents are constantly making children say please and and thank you’s. Yet the core of respect and what it meant is being deluded by “me” culture. These kids and their parents maybe using the words but their motivation is all wrong. Ever have someone who holds a door, then under their breath with a tinge of anger mumble “Thank You” because they weren’t thanked? This is the problem. We do good things for recognition and for appreciation of our effort.

The brown in me, never had to say please or thank you while I was growing up. In my culture asking family and friends to say please or thank you was considered rude and an insult. You should not have to beg or thank family and friends for what was considered mandatory behavior. We were taught respect for all, but when we did good it was because it was what was expected. We never did good to hear thank you or to get acknowledgement.

It baffles me in the west the notion you must send thank you cards for gifts and flowers. It also annoys me when those who don’t receive a thank you card are hurt and resentful. The most important lesson the brown in me wants to teach my children about being brown is, do not make people and your children ever have to beg for food and help from you by having to say “please”; and never ever do good to feel good or for acknowledgement, or for the “Thank You”.

Source: ItsTheBrownInMe